Things I wish people would shut the eff up about Edition 2

Things I wish people would shut the fuck up about

Today: **Sliders**

Sliders, you know, those little hamburgers from the Black Lagoon. Before we even get to how stupid the entire franchise is, let’s all gather ‘round for a collective ‘eeeeeeeeeew’ at then name itself. From Wikipedia:

>The name comes from their size, whereby they are considered to “slide” right down your throat in one or two bites.

Bullshit. They’re called sliders because they *slide* right through you. Have you *eaten* a burger from White Castle? **They are called sliders because they give you the trots. How putrid can you get?** And just when I thought I wouldn’t have proof to back me up, [here’s some](http://ww.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20070108/news_1m8menu.html):

>Sailors of the U.S. Navy call Wednesday “slider day,” after the greasy grilled burgers served at [Tuesday] evening chow on ships across the fleet.”

**OMFG**. People spend $50 on these things, foie gras, Kobe beef, pickled tongue, I don’t care: they are an homage to trash food named for the liquid bowel movements they cause. This is beyond a turnoff; it makes me want to vomit whenever I see it on a menu.

Maybe Boulud’s foie gras mini hamburger was an innovation, but that was a long time ago. It’s time to put the mini burger- and its nauseatingly graphic name to bed.

Listening: “Boogie Chillun” John Lee Hooker (from an anthology)