The Omnivorous Fish

San Rafael Swell

In 1893, an English teacher named Katharine Lee Bates went to Colorado by train and was so overwhelmed by what she saw, she came down from the mountains and wrote the poem that would go on to become America the Beautiful. All I can say is it’s a good thing she didn’t make it to Utah, because her head would have exploded.

It’s over. 3 days, 2800 miles and- I’m happy to say- only 4 advil. Here’s a little chart of what got eaten by mileage. This was supplemented by Crunchy Peanut Butter Clif Bars and the old trucker standby, sunflower seeds. Sunflower seeds? Yup, they’re sort of neutral, interesting to chew, and when you’re body is digesting, you’re more alert. So, when you’re getting a little hazy on the road, munch on something with a lot of fiber in it. It’s better for you than coffee from a truck stop.

I know you’re all going to die when you see what I ate, but I challenge you to drive from New York to LA in three days and find something decent to eat that you haven’t brought with you. I don’t know what the final odometer reading was, but I’ll post it when I go out to the car.

Thanks for all the phone calls and text messages along the way. They really helped. Special thanks, also, to Jim Dale, for reading the 2nd and 3rd Harry Potter books to me. Have a good Middle Management Barbecue Day!

South Orange, NJ 0 Oatmeal Cookies
Lamar, PA 194 Hot dog with kraut and hot peppers
Broadview Hights, OH 432 Panera Chicken Sandwich
Elkhart, IN Starbucks Latte and brownie
Geneseo, IL 895
Walnut, IA 1174 McDonalds hamburger
Lexington, NE 1437 Arby’s roast beef
Wiggins, CO 1690 Banana
Aspen, CO 1912
Salina, UT
Washington, UT 2378 Wendy’s chicken sandwich
Yermoca, NV 2638