The Omnivorous Fish

Someone recently told me about a person who at the tender age of 25 is the chef de cuisine of a somewhat known restaurant in a major american city. I responded in my usual pensive way and said something like “Get the f___ out of here.” Why? Can’t this person cook? Can’t this person taste? Can’t this person be creative? Of course this person can, but my question becomes, ‘Is this person a badass?’

Well, you might wonder, what is a badass? The easiest way for me to describe this phenomenon, for those of you who know him, is to say that my dad is a badass. For those of you who don’t, let me explain. A badass is someone whose technical acumen is beyond question and whose reflexes are unerring to any situation in their chosen field. He or she is alert, calm and his or her analysis on the subject is without reproach. The badass may not be the most popular person in the room, but he (ok, dropping the ‘or she’ now, get over it) commands the notice of his superiors, the respect of his peers and the admiration of his subordinates.

Jacques Pepin, Norm Abram and Obi-Wan Kenobi are all Badasses.

Well, can’t this person be a badass at 25? Well, it is possible to be a badass at 25. I would never dub myself worthy of the title, but there are people who consider me a badass at my job at a mere 28. However, I started when I was 14. I’m not exaggerating. 14. This person did not start at 14.

Why does it matter, you might be tempted to ask. Well, for one thing, the chef of a kitchen, like the captain of a ship, must exert some control over the kitchen, whether through respect, fear, admiration or awe, usually more of the former, and most succesfully a combination of all four. This person’s standards and taste (literal and figurative) dictate the ethic of the kitchen. Any decent cook can do a tasting, but one man does not cook 300 covers by himself. The chefs de partie will only ever be as good as the man that leads them, so he must be a Badass.

A great example of motivational rebuke comes in a story I recently heard about an internationally acclaimed restaurant on the West Coast. If the person who told me the story thinks it’s appropriate to name names, please comment so. I’ll leave them out. We’ve all heard of this place, and anyone who hasn’t eaten there whishes they could, even if they won’t admit it.

One evening during service, the Sous-Chef kicked all the cooks off the line and cooked a large table’s meals by himself. Every station, from the bottom up had to stand and watch him bust out the entire order better than any of them could have done individually at their own stations. This person, although not necessarily voted Miss Congeniality, is a Badass.

I’m at a crossroads in my life, and, as many of you know, I am considering switching careers- again. But I’ll tell you, stagehand, engineer, cook, baker, writer, whatever, the one thing I strive to attain, the one thing I long to be, whatever the job: a Badass.

Listening: “Hocus Pocus” Lee Morgan The Sidewinder