Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine today who is an artist. Not an artist like he does beautiful watercolors of your dog or something, but a man who makes a significant portion of his income by looking at something the way no one else sees it, tearing it apart, and putting it back together as meta-version of itself. He’s a painter, sculptor, crafter, friend, confidante, confessor and smoker. He’s one other thing, too.

He’s a mirror.

There are people in my life that I don’t see often. I see this friend once a year-ish, but here’s the thing: he’s known me for almost 15 years. So he’s in the unique position of knowing me through two distinct periods of my life (not unlike The Guitarist, who’s known me through three), the older period on a daily basis, the newer period on a yearly basis. So he knows me, but he hasn’t fallen prey to all the bullshit that has accumulated on me and my mind and my outlook over the years: he knew me before, and when we’re together now, he has a clearer image of that old me than anyone else I know. So, talking to him today was like a window through time. And do you know what we discovered? We discovered that I haven’t made anything in about 8 years.

What? You make pasta, cakes, all this shit, right? Yes, and it’s a creative outlet, and it’s emotional for me, but it’s not the same as making *art*. Yes, the act of cooking is an art, but the end product isn’t art; it’s food. This friend knew me when I was constantly trailing a sketchpad or a notebook or a roll of toilet paper with an epic poem being written on it. He helped me draw my self portrait; he helped me understand plaster.

I want to be the kind of person who makes things again. I want to have an open mind again. I learned how to skateboard tonight. I’m 28 years old, and in the freezing cold at 11pm on Christmas, I was out there spraining my wrist on a skateboard. A year ago I wouldn’t even have considered it. Tonight, it was my idea. My brother started teaching me to weld yesterday. I have desperately missed learning.

People can change. So, I guess they can change back…maybe even be better than they were.